Life in motion makes Trey Songz worldly, wise

R&B sex symbol singer Trey Songz is a military brat who grew up in Virginia and elsewhere. He fits the cliches about military brats:

They make friends effortlessly, but they drop friends just as effortlessly, because those are often the traits of people on the move.

Songz, who sings Saturday at the Palms, explains.

"You can connect with any kind of person. But on the other hand, you can disconnect very easily, because you've gone through so many years of having to deal with that."

When Songz, 27, was a kid on the go, there was no Facebook, no Twitter, and no proliferation of cellphones. It was hard to keep up with friends he left behind.

So he'd arrive in a new place and think, "You just don't have a best friend anymore. You've got to get a new one."

An upside: As a product of each new geography, he became a sponge, soaking up the environment of a destination, making him more worldly.

"The beauty of it is being able to connect with so many nationalities, colors and creeds, because you weren't in a setting that forced you to do otherwise," he says.

But the downside: "You get bored very easily."

Today, his military brat traits are amplified by being a touring entertainer. He was used to moving around as a child, and now as an adult.

"In relationships, I love very hard. But I can disconnect very easily if something looks ..." he says without finishing the thought.

"It's like a security blanket, like, 'I can be done with this,' because you're so used to having to be done with it. It's something that puzzles me all the time."

Songz has other traits that seem apparent when you talk with him or watch interviews with him. He comes across as a smart, genuine talent who will answer any question about his life, music or sex symbol lifestyle.

As Songz' R&B peer, singer Joe Thomas, tells me.

"When you travel the world like he does -- and I do, as well -- you see so much beauty, but especially him, because he's considered today's sex symbol."

Joe, who is a few years older and in a relationship, says of the female fan factor, "You definitely get tired of it."

Songz, in Miami these days, says he found the inner strength to guard against harmful excess.

"You've gotta police yourself. I've just got to be aware, man," Songz says.

He values his music career too much to throw it away on a Caligulan self-destruction, he says. He stays grounded even when he's having fun "as a man."

"One day, you can be hot. One day, you can be nobody, if you don't pay attention and focus on what's really going on," he says.

He's especially grateful fame didn't come quickly, but slowly built over the course of each hit album.

"The blessing in my career was not to be supersuccessful instantaneously," he says. "At a young age, if you get it too fast, it's like people who hit the lottery -- they blow it."

So his thought process on fame has had the ability to adapt in steps -- from money to women, to traveling, to business, he says.

"There's nothing that can prepare you for what being a star is," he says. "I got to learn at an escalating scale.

"It's not a sprint, man. It's a marathon. I want to be around when everybody else is tired. That means learning."

Doug Elfman's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.