Prog rockers’ concerts interactive events – so get ready

One does not merely attend a Rush show.

One does not simply show up.

Nay!

One loses oneself in what can only be described as a trip through the pearly gates of awesome.

Imagine the splendor of Christmas morning, only instead of Santa showing up to gank all your Oreos, you're greeted by a trio of Canadian dream weavers who present to you the gift of music - and by "music," we mean the sound of three men seducing their instruments into exultant sighs of musical bliss.

That's what a Rush show is like.

At least, if you're a prog rock fan, that is.

For this select bunch, Rush concerts are interactive events, a chance to join in on genius.

You don't sit in your seat and just take it in.

You stand up and rock out with your guy thing out.

Now, when Rush comes to town today to set the MGM Grand on fire with rock 'n' roll, we'll be there to show you all how it's done.

To help you keep up with us, here are a few pointers culled from the band's current set list to better enable you to keep pace:

Best Song For Snuggling

None of them.

You will have a lot of things when you see Rush - the best time of your life, namely - but a lady on your shoulder will not be one of them.

A few things that your average woman would rather do than attend a Rush show:

■ Applaud your decision to belch the alphabet in front of her parents.

■ Ogle your Applebee's waitress with you.

■ Commend your honesty when, after wondering aloud how she looks in a new pair of jeans, you ask if she's recently eaten a deep-fried moose.

■ Totally agree with you that, yes, in fact, her sister is way hotter.

Now, we're not sure why any of this is.

What, are chicks allergic to stuff that kicks ass or something?

Best Song For Air Guitar

"YYZ."

So many worthy choices here, it's hard to pick, like having to choose a favorite among your kids.

Actually, that's an understatement, for the miracle of childbirth hardly compares to the wonder of Alex Lifeson's fleet-fingered explorations of rock 'n' roll's G-spot.

Yes, you will get carpal tunnel syndrome trying to keep up with him on this incredible display of speed and dexterity and will most likely never be able to firmly grip anything ever again.

So, you'll have to drink your Molson through a straw, no biggie.

Note: Solo is to be performed while genuflecting.

Best Song For Air Drums

Any of them.

Q: What happens when thunder and lightning get it on, have a baby, put drumsticks in its hands and then stand back to witness the awesome power of their creation?

A: Three words: Neil. Friggin'. Peart.

He's like a nuclear reactor with arms, legs and a Harley.

What makes playing along with Peart so fun is that he uses the entirety of his mammoth kit.

The guy's all over the place and yet always firmly in control, the perfect blend of power and poise.

Trying to keep up with the dude is an entirely different story, however.

You'll be swinging your arms like you're trying to ward off a swarm of cheesed off yellow jackets.

Best Song For A Potty Break

Trick question!

When Rush is onstage, raining tunes down on you like a nor'easter of rad, you relish every damn minute of it.

Best Song To Impress the Die-hards

"Where's My Thing?"

You don't want to look like a neophyte at a Rush gig, where half the crowd sports tour shirts from 1982 - some of them even have the same haircuts. How to characterize the camaraderie at one of the group's shows?

Well, think of some brave war veterans proudly sharing their battle scars with one another.

Now, replace the heroic soldiers with grown men as overexcited as a teenager who just lost his virginity to the really hot home ec teacher and the war wounds with commemorative guitar picks and you get the idea.

Point is, you want to fit in, and the best way to do that is by having a firm grasp of the handful of deep album cuts and seldom played tunes Rush graces us with on every tour and that only a die-hard would know.

This go-round, there's plenty of nuggets to choose from, but we'll go with "Where's My Thing?," a slippery "Roll the Bones" dervish that, up until this tour, the band hadn't performed live since 1992.

We should know, dude, we were totally there.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476.

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