Dude, stow the iPad, I’m trying to see the band …

“Good manners are free. Everyone should have them.”

That was once told to me by Lemmy Kilmister, immortal Motorhead frontman and fount of all that is awesome.

Now, if a dude who treats methamphetamines and whiskey like food groups can be polite, shouldn’t we all?

This goes double at shows, where everyone is there to have a good time.

And yet, if live music is your thing, you know firsthand that some of us need to brush up on our concertgoing etiquette.

With this in mind, let’s review a few important do’s and don’ts when heading out to a gig, for both showgoers and promoters alike.

■u2009Don’t put on six-band bills where the headliner goes on at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night. We get it, it’s Vegas, there’s no last call, and everyone wants to party until either sun or their dinner comes up, but some of us have jobs that require at least a minimal amount of consciousness and attention to detail.

Now, I’m not speaking of myself here — I’m “writing” this column while pounding snifters of Jager and knitting a sock monkey — but some of you have really important occupations, and you can’t be out until the early morning hours on a school night.

Sure, promoters need to sell tickets, so they’ll get a half-dozen young local acts to essentially pay to play a show to defray the cost of the headliner. But this results in excruciatingly, unnecessarily long gigs — not to mention equally lengthy bar tabs.

■Please abstain from moshing on your way to the mosh pit. Next to maybe a pulled groin or reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond,” perhaps the most annoying thing in the history of stuff that sucks is the overexcited dude who has to push and shove people en route to the pit at punk and metal shows.

Hey tough guy, save it for when you’re in the presence of those actually prepared to hit you back.

■u2007Stop filming entire shows with your tablet. Oh no, you holding a bright video screen aloft in the air, right in the line of vision of those around you, for songs on end, that’s not distracting at all. And if sarcasm were a tornado, you’d be halfway to Oz right about now, Dorothy. Here’s a far-out idea: If you want to remember a show so badly, why don’t you put your tablet down and actually watch the thing?

■u2007Don’t pester the nerdy looking guy scribbling into his notebook. Don’t get me wrong. I greatly, greatly value your feedback when I’m out reviewing a show. I love it when you yell into my ear about how Eric Clapton is letting Derek Trucks take all the good leads or how Mary J. Blige was better when you saw her in New Orleans a while back.

It’s some truly compelling stuff. Probably more revelatory than what I’ll end up writing.

So, don’t hold back. Just put it in an email.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com
or 702-383-0476.