Steve Wynn, Madonna and Lady Gaga pop up as characters in offbeat opera, ‘Divas’

"I can sing Mozart in German while tweeting."

-- "Lady Gaga"

"I was seeing Warren Beatty while you were in diapers."

-- "Madonna"

Cone bra and meat dress?

Pass. After all, this is opera. Dignified. Traditional. ... Slightly cracked.

Conceptually, this piece -- call it a Pop-Op -- is like a virgin.

Staged for the very first time.

"I'm becoming a vegan farmer," says "Steve Wynn" -- a tall, slim, blond Steve Wynn -- before launching into operatic Mozart.

Toss in "Entourage" uber-agent Ari Gold and "Jersey Shore" uber-galoot Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, all warbling with operatic pipes, and you have a reimagining Mozart could never have imagined, courtesy of the UNLV Opera Theatre.

"I love opera, but it's a dichotomy -- I'm also a pop-culture junkie," says Linda Lister, director of the opera troupe, who has inserted caricatures of the aforementioned celebs (most of whom seem like caricatures in real life anyway) into Mozart's "The Impresario" in a program dubbed "Divas" this weekend at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

"Since I'm new here, I'm fascinated by the entertainment scene, and someone said there was a rumor Madonna was coming to town, and I thought, what else could Madonna do? She's never done opera," Lister says. "She's Italian, so maybe it would be in her blood. And a lot of students are obsessed with Lady Gaga."

Comic in tone, "Divas" opens with Hayden's "La Canterina," sung in Italian, about a pushy stage mom and her diva daughter trying to swindle a music master.

Then follows "The Impresario" -- aka (deep breath here) "Der Schauspieldirektor" -- Mozart's 1786 singspiel ("song play") about squabbling sopranos.

Though still sung in German, "The Impresario" contains extensive dialogue Lister has rewritten in English and assigned to a cast of contemporary kooks.

Plot? Mozart's impresario is a Strip-weary Wynn, who's hoping his new production can be a "diva-free mime show." Sorry, Steve-O. Instead, he's besieged by Sorrentino and Gold, who push him to audition Madonna and Gaga.

Silly? Certainly. (Can "The Situation" even spell "Entourage"?) Yet there's a demographic method to the operatic madness. "Certain opera fans might not get all the (pop culture) references, but the younger audiences, the ones we're trying to get excited so it will continue, it should speak to them," Lister says.

"A lot of opera companies these days, they're trying to think outside the box to get different audiences. It's interesting to find a new context in which to make it work. It's already a comic opera, but I wanted to make it more ridiculous."

Portraying Madonna to the diva-esque max -- snootily stalking a rehearsal hall during a recent run-through like a "Vogue" vid come to life, words drenched in the Material Girl's faux-Brit accent -- 21-year-old Isabella Ivy is having a faux-Brit blast.

"(Lister) will say, 'Please use the accent a lot and make it as pretentious as you can,' " Ivy says. "I've tried very hard to put Madonna mannerisms in my singing. And she's got lines like: 'I don't watch TV. I study Kabbalah and write children's books.' "

Catfighting with Gaga is one of the gags that her operatic opponent cherishes. "She treats me pretty rudely, she's pretty mean to me, she's got a fiery attitude, so I'm going to give some of that back," says 25-year-old Erin Kennelly, aka Gaga, though she does manage a measure of respect.

"I do not wear the dress made of meat," Kennelly says, "because Mr. Wynn is a vegan."

While brattiness is their primary personality trait, the Wynn character is mostly exasperated, uttering lines such as, "Divas? I already have to deal with Garth Brooks," with accompanying eye roll.

"He's a pretty reserved personality and that makes it pretty easy (to play)," says Nathan Van Arsdale, 29, the aforementioned tall, slim, blond Wynn. "I'm not trying to insult the guy. I think he would enjoy the show."

However: "I'm playing up his bad vision," Van Arsdale says. Is that perhaps a little dangerous, comedically speaking? "Not as dangerous as leaving a stroller out in one of his casinos."

Previously not an "Entourage" fan -- or even aware of it -- 24-year-old Jonathan Mancheni has been somewhat Jeremy Piven-ized, playing the driven, aggressive character the TV star made famous. "I knew I was going to play this big-time Hollywood agent so I started to watch 'Entourage,' and now I've watched all eight seasons, saw it on HBO GO," he says. "The lines aren't as graphic as on TV; it's more PG-rated here."

However unaware Mancheni was of "Entourage" was matched by Brian Myer's obliviousness toward Sorrentino. "I never watched 'Jersey Shore,' don't even have cable," says Myer, 23.

"I watched two episodes and I found his workout video so I watched it to get an idea. Mostly, I'm just trying to talk with a Jersey accent."

Speaking of which, a debt of gratitude is due Linda Lister -- she could have tortured us with a Mozart-singing Snooki.

Contact reporter Steve Bornfeld at sbornfeld@review journal.com or 702-383-0256.