Recently divorced? Here’s your silver lining … in bullets

Would you like to shoot your ex-wife’s stuff with a machine gun? How about your ex-husband’s? This is a real offer. You can do this in Las Vegas soon.

On Wednesday, a new “Just Divorced Package” was announced by Machine Guns Vegas, where celebrity clients have blown holes in things.

Which celebs? Mel Gibson (obviously), Michelle Rodriguez, DJs Zedd, Steve Aoki, Afrojack and Porter Robinson, plus Nelly, Carrot Top, and WWE/E! star Eva Marie.

Machine Guns Vegas is launching its “Just Divorced” package on Valentine’s Day.

Men can walk in with their dudes — and women can take their lady friends — and they can all shoot the frijoles out of “wedding memorabilia” together.

What could go wrong?

The gun range will encourage angry exes to aim their sights at “wedding dresses, tuxes, and marriage certificates” with the “largest caliber-shot available.”

The almost-$500 price tag of $499 buys you 40 rounds of one kind of ammo, 10 rounds of some other ammo, two private firing lanes and a lounge, plus transportation.

Cheaper than couples counseling! (In the short term. Long term: trickier.)

I asked a representative of the gun place if exes can shoot at pictures and cardboard cutouts of their hated ones, but she replied smartly, “I think it’s probably best to stick with keeping the targets as ‘things’ and not ‘people.’ :)”

Hey look, I love Vegas for its various freedoms, but honestly, I’ll never understand you gun fetishists. What’s the allure? I say that as a huge fan of first-person shooting video games.

You know, I once got divorced and my Southern Mom gave me a bumper sticker featuring the image of a gun. It read, “I Miss My Ex — But I Keep Aiming!” I did not put that on my Miata. I went to a strip club and a therapist, instead. So that’s who I am. Judge away.

Contact Doug Elfman at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.