Love and Laughter

Rock stars hook up with groupies, yes. But comedians are more seductive than rock stars in a way, because they're professional talkers. They get paid to charm the pants off of you.

Now think about Howie Mandel. He performs 250 stand-up gigs a year. He's on TV, hosting "Deal or No Deal." That means he's rich, famous and he's got female options on the road -- he's a prime candidate to shag tons of groupies.

But he doesn't. He's been married to his wife, Terry, for 36 years, and she doesn't fear he'll ever stray, he says.

"I'm a germaphobe. I won't touch anything," he says and laughs. "She'll tell you that, 'He won't shake hands. What do I have to worry about him touching somebody on the road?' "

The love story of the Mandels' marriage is both sweet and bizarre, as he describes it to me. (He also tells their love story in his Nov. 24 book release, "Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me.")

Terry had no interest in Howie in high school in Toronto. He still was growing physically; he barely came up to her shoulders. Plus, he was a turnoff, because he had earned a reputation as an "outrageous and insane" prankster who wasn't considered funny.

They had friends in common, though, so he got to hang around her. After some pestering, she agreed to go on a date -- but she showed up on that date with her own date, and she brought a girl for Howie.

"When she said she would go out with me, it wasn't with me, it was with my friend. She was thrilled to go out with me -- as long as she didn't have to be my date."

Then, Howie convinced her to go on a date with just him.

On that date, he drove them into a car wreck.

"The car spun and fishtailed, and went up onto two wheels and almost flipped over and killed us. But it ended up landing on the wheels.

"My heart was almost busting through my chest," he says, "and she looked at me and went, 'Very funny!' ''

He couldn't convince her it wasn't a practical joke. But somehow, they made it to date No. 2 and onward. They eventually married and raised three kids.

In marriage, Howie has dealt with a host of mental ordeals. In addition to the germaphobia, he's got ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Yeah, good times.

And, obviously, Terry has had to deal with his mental ordeals.

"It's hell to live with somebody who has these issues," he says.

"I can't touch things. I'm making other people around me wash. I'm tortured when somebody is sick."

His wife has been incredibly patient, smart and loving to put up with it, he says.

At the same time, she's helped guide his career, convincing him to stay in show business when he wanted to get out and to take the "Deal or No Deal" job. He didn't want to do "Deal," didn't understand how it would work well, and didn't want to be embarrassed if it sucked.

"She made me do it," he says. "And lo and behold, I got the ultimate 'I told you so' because nobody is more surprised and thrilled and blessed than I am to be part of it.

"She seems to always be very clear on how I should live my life and what I should do," he says. "I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. The way I'm able to survive in business and in life is because of her."

OK, but how has she not gone crazy living with Mandel? Well, she doesn't really live with him much.

"I do 250 live dates a year" on tour, so "the fact that I'm not there (at home) a lot makes it easier for her. Here I am in Las Vegas, and she's not. She gets a break from me just because of what my job is. I'm not sure she could stick it out if I had been home every day."

Sometimes, she joins him on the road when she "wants to handle me," he says.

But even at home, they don't always see each other. If she catches the sniffles, he moves into another room.

"My neurosis and needs are conducive to her not getting tired of me," he says. "Our 36 years together are probably a normal person's three years."

Three years of bliss, apparently.

Doug Elfman's column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail him at delfman@ reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.