What should Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s kid be named?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a second baby after naming the first one North, begging the question: What should they name child number two?

If they want a funny name to call out after saying “North,” they could name their next child Korea, Dakota, Las Vegas, America, Pole, Star, or By Northwest.

But since I like the chutzpah of Penn Jillette’s daughter’s name so much (Moxie CrimeFighter), here are my genius ideas for Kim and Kanye (and for you expecting parents) to give your children less boring names than “Doug.”

You could go with the two best names in the world: Spike (from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) and Speed Racer.

You can go Russian, since the Ruskies have the best names: Nicholas, Natasha, Anastasia.

You could give the kid a name for future corporate sponsorship, like Apple or Android, but that’s incredibly limiting and daft.

If you’re Kim and Kanye, you could name your kid what he or she is going to cause next: Contract Renegotiations, Media Sensation, Lucrative Lucre, People Magazine Cover, Nonstop Coverage on E News.

You can’t go with Caitlyn, because that’s Bruce Jenner’s name now.

You could go literary, like Major Major Major, Xanadu, or Anna Karenina, but you might want to steer clear of Lolita, the best book ever but the worst name for a girl ever since.

You could go with a witch, warlock or sorcerer name, because they’re often great names: Samantha, Tabitha, Merlin, Willow, Gandalf, Piper, Hermione, Beatrix, Sabrina, Skeletor, Lilith.

You could go old-school video game: Space Invader, Star Fire, Galaxian, Berzerk, Tron, Zaxxon, Xevious, Vanguard, Time Pilot, Spy Hunter.

You could go all peace-and-love with Zen, Nirvana, Enlightenment, or Siddhartha.

But if I were you, Kim and Kanye, I’d give my kid a long name so the kid can pick one for himself or herself later, from a hall of mirrors, super-ego list of names befitting the most famous celebrities in the world, and that name would be: Emperor of the Universe Admiral General Superman/Wonder Woman Power Ranger John Holmes Apex Predator Terminator Judgment Day Ripley Sharknado Doctor Who Sexypants Tiger Lily Event Horizon West Kardashian.

Contact Doug Elfman at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman. Find him on Twitter: @VegasAnonymous