New York State of Grind

Ex-New Yorkers always tell me how hard it was to leave the city, because it was rewarding to survive their challenging, daily routines -- a grind I call "foraging."

New Yorkers forage for food, transportation, coffee, love, groceries and 500-square-foot apartments costing less than $2,000. When they move, they suffer emotional turmoil, adjusting to an easier, more affordable lifestyle, as if they don't deserve comfort.

In other words, New Yorkers get Stockholm Syndrome. They fall in love with their captor, an unforgiving city.

I don't like to forage in New York or in the New York-patterned boroughs of Liberty City in "Grand Theft Auto 4." Everything in Liberty City is a hassle. You hijack a car, then cops drive after you, and it's nearly impossible to navigate roads, because they're troubled with traffic, obstacles and darkness.

I change the brightness settings on both my Xbox 360 and my 55-inch high-definition TV just so I can see other cars, street turns and where bad guys are coming from, especially when I battle real gamers online.

To keep perspective, this is my long complaint about an otherwise great game, even if it does start slow and boring. (Do you really have to shoot pool and go bowling? Seriously?)

This latest "GTA" offers another 60-hour offline adventure packed with extravagant cinematic scenes and murderous missions. It's also the first "GTA" with online shooting, which is nice, but body movements are sluggish. And you start each level with the worst handgun imaginable instead of a good machine gun.

It took about 1,000 people to make "GTA 4," including programmers, developers, producers and actors. You can see the depth. There is a big plot and awesome dialogue.

You play as Niko, a Serbian immigrant who has been coaxed by his cousin Roman's lies to move to the big city. But stupid Roman brings irate Niko into the crime world. You collect protection money and shoot rival cons with rifles, shotguns and machine guns.

As usual, you drive old muscle cars, ambulances, helicopters, cop cars, stretch limos and tons of horrible beater-cars that barely turn corners.

The best part is the writing. There are no better conversations in games than in "GTA" titles, except maybe for the "Destroy All Humans!" series. In "GTA," New York-y pedestrians say things like, "I'm late for therapy!" A woman you sex up says, "I've never dated a foreign guy before. A lot from another planet. But never from another country."

You buy lap dances from two strippers grooving to Goldfrapp's "Ooh La La," and you ask, "Are you, like, sisters or cousins or something?"

Radio stations in your hijacked vehicles play scores of classic and pop songs, but DJs also act as evil parodies of the real thing. DJs are racist, sexist and conservative, bemoaning even the loss of separate drinking fountains. This is not face-value cruelty, but rather a stinging, liberal satire of the right.

The liberalness makes me wonder why Democrats such as New Yorker Hillary Clinton assail games, which are generally to the left. I'm guessing she's never played a "Grand Theft Auto." Then again, she's got her own Stockholm Syndrome to keep her busy.

("Grand Theft Auto 4" by Rockstar retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3 -- Plays fun, though it starts slow offline, and the online gaming is sluggish, featuring terrible handguns. Looks great. Begins moderately easy but becomes challenging. Rated "M" for intense violence, blood, strong language, strong sexual content, partial nudity and use of drugs and alcohol. Four stars out of four.)