Media column is responsive to readers … sort of

Writers write. Readers read. When readers write, writers write back.

Today, anyway:

"You've got a problem with everyone who's not a dinosaur in this business." I'd love to see a stegosaurus and a velociraptor co-anchor the news, but it's so hard to get them to sit still in the makeup chair. ... "Get your facts straight." What fun would that be? ... "Use your head." My belly button is more analytical. ...

(Regarding Channel 8's airport ambush of the governor and how I'd react if I were the reporter who got the tip): "I really doubt ... he wouldn't rush to find his least grease-stained shirt, throw on the Velcro shoes ... and head to the airport. Then again, he'd probably call someone else to go report on it so he could go back to his Dungeons and Dragons game." Yahtzee, actually. ... "Stop sucking up to KVBC, are you trying to get a job there?" You bet. Based on my credentials, I have a shot as Sue Manteris' manicurist. ... "You tell it like it is in your weekly column." Wow! A fan! Let's see if there are others. ...

"You have a face for radio." And a body made for sin. ... "You are a jealous loser." Actually, I am a zealous boozer. ... "You are boring and your column is even worse. Get a life, Uni-bomber." That's spelled "Un-A-bomber." But to honor your reference, I'll mail my response. ...

"Bornfeld likes (certain anchors) 'cause they are unattractive, social losers and that's what Steve gets off on." ... Careful whom you insult. Quasi is a pal of mine (Mr. Modo to you). ... "Is someone upset he took the 'high road' to become a media critic and now he doesn't work with hot anchors?" Not yet, but ask me after Vegas stations adopt the "Naked News" format. ... "Hey Bornfeld, you seem to have a real way with the ladies, and especially Alicia (Jacobs). Can you hook me up?" Sure. She'll do it as a personal favor to me. We're very close. ...

"You are so funny!" You've been a wonderful crowd. I'm here all week. ... "Actually, Bornfeld, as long as you supply a place for we Alicia Jacobs supporters, I almost don't mind your typically very boring dribble." Dribble? I'm relieved you don't think I write drivel. ... "Thanks for being the bastion of truth and credibility." ("BTW, Bornfeld, that was sarcasm.") Thanks for your trenchant, substantive observations and intellectual engagement. (BTW, so was that.) ...

"Bornfeld, after your swim in the cesspool, you smell just like it." That's my new deodorant. Sexy, huh? ... "I really enjoy your columns. The angles you explore are amazing and your overall approach is quite intriguing." Feel free to cash the check now. ... "Bornfeld, you kill me." You've got no DNA evidence, no murder weapon, I wasn't even Mirandized. ...

"Hey Bornfeld, at least you've remained sadly predictable till the bitter end." Great club, 147 Bleecker Street, Big Apple, $10 cover. ... "Bornfeld is small-time mentality all the way." When I do something, it's all the way. ... "Hey, Payola Bornfeld." ... Hey, Crayola reader. ...

"Mr. B, tell it like it is." If you read it, I will come. ... "Bornfeld, you are just disgruntled because you are not on TV." I'm not disgruntled. In fact, I'm quite, uh, gruntled. ...

"Careful -- credibility is everything and you're losing yours." Nina, is that you?

Contact reporter Steve Bornfeld at sbornfeld@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0256.