Keeping It Real

Kathleen Madigan is a top comedian in her own right. But she may be secondarily known for dating two other comedians, Lewis Black and Ron White.

"I will say they can write on my tombstone, 'She never went out with a hack.' Lou and Ron are both super funny," she says.

She sounds just a tad defensive when she adds that her Black and White experiences were years ago, when both guys were less famous with less money.

"They can also write on my tombstone, 'She wasn't a gold digger.' "

Since most comics are male, I rarely get to ask female comedians what it's like to date other comics. So I go hog wild, tossing one relationship question after another at Madigan.

She tells this great story about White, which begins, he has "a high tolerance" for pot.

"He would watch NASCAR on Saturday. I would say, 'Ron, I can't sit here and watch these cars go around in circles.' He goes (in his stoned, Texas drawl), 'Well, Maddie, somebody's countin'.' " Then she goes, "You totally miss the point. I don't give a (expletive) if somebody's counting. I can't sit here and watch you smoke pot and watch cars go around in circles!"

She still hangs out pretty often with White (he's "awesome" and "clever") and Black (he's "normal" and "silly" and "funny").

The problem with one comic dating another comic is they both end up talking about the same stuff instead of learning new things from each other's careers. She says a conversation with Black might have gone: "How was your show?" "Fine. How was your show?" "Fine. How many tickets did you sell?"

"Saying the same crap every night gets mundane," she says.

On the other hand, when two comedians date and get into an argument, they are both sharply equipped with quips.

"Oh, we can turn into 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?' faster than you have any idea, but without the super intelligent angle," she says.

But, she says, "We didn't fight" really. For the most part, those relationships were more like: "Somebody would be coming home half drunk with another bottle of wine and a carton of cigarettes."

When she's on the road, Madigan, who is pretty although that's beside the point of her comedy, doesn't meet many available guys who catch her eye, even though men appear in high attendance at comedy shows. She claims most men bring dates to shows. And when packs of dudes go to comedy clubs for bachelor parties, that's not enticing romantically.

"I do, however, get a lot of marriage proposals from Canadian farmers," who e-mail her pictures that suggest, "I'm on a tractor in Edmonton," she says.

"I guess they go to my Web site and look at my picture and go, 'She looks like she's good at chores. She looks like she likes animals.'

"They are right about both things. I do like farms. I do like animals. But I do not want to live with what is probably a serial killer in Canada."

Doug Elfman's column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 702-383-0391 or delfman@ reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.