Back in the Fold

Just close your eyes," a buddy said upon seeing the show.

"Close your eyes, and it's like 1984."

Yeah, 1984 was a great year -- a great year for high kicks, hormones and Waldo, that buttoned-down, fish-eyed nerd with the face-swallowing glasses who always seemed to get steamrolled by the Van Halen dudes in their videos.

That's the effect Van Halen had on a lot of kids: They were the libidinous, beer-battered cutups who served as a leering gateway to the id, a band that catalyzed almost as many drunken shenanigans as Budweiser itself.

At the dawn of the '80s, when the freewheeling '70s were a thing of the past and a new, Reagan-era conservatism and social chastity began to seep into the mainstream, Van Halen's skivvies remained around their ankles and they eschewed moderation like loose-fitting pants.

"What grabbed me was the party music," says lifelong Van Halen fan Rubben Emmanuelli, 36, from San Juan, Puerto Rico. "It was music of joy, booze and girls."

Of course, when original Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth split from the group more than two decades ago, the band shifted gears a bit, becoming less raucous and more polished with Sammy Hagar at the helm.

But with Roth back in the fold for one of the biggest tours of the year, the blood is flowing in this band's nether regions once again, as the aforementioned friend attested to after seeing the band in Phoenix recently.

It all starts with Diamond Dave, equal parts Lothario, used car salesman, game show host and spandex-coated rock god.

"David Lee Roth reminds me of a politician who could sell you on anything he was pushing," says Van Halen die-hard Frank Jacobo, 38, from Salinas, Calif., who saw the band in Oakland last week. "The man is as smooth as silk. That's why the ladies love him."

Sex appeal always has been a prominent part of this band's allure. Along with Led Zeppelin, Van Halen was most responsible for luring flocks of women to hard rock, once a genre as dude-centric as the staff at the local Jiffy Lube.

But whereas the members of Zeppelin always carried with them a veneer of mysticism, pomposity and thematic grandeur, Van Halen was a pointedly populist alternative, a big, loud, sweaty party that everyone was invited to, thrown by four guys who took no more care in hiding their motives than the women who launched their panties at the band once they took the stage.

They sang of fast cars, loose women and, well, not much else -- because in their world, there wasn't much else.

Ever since Van Halen formed in the mid-'70s, a nation of teen boys has lived vicariously through these guys' overactive pelvises.

You could have dismissed it all as fluff if it wasn't tethered to such a high-level of musical prowess, with Eddie Van Halen penning the textbook of modern metal guitar and his drummer brother Alex locking in with bassist Michael Anthony for a forceful swing tailored for drunken dancing -- or stripping.

In a way, it's a lost art.

"Hard-driving rock just gets in you," says Carol Petrovich, 42, of Woodstock, Ga., who plays in the all-female Van Halen tribute band She-Ruption, "and the bands of the '70s and '80s really knew how to deliver the whole package: entertaining stage show, spandex, outrageous shredder guitar, never-ending drum solos, etc."

But for a band posited in large part on an over-ripe sexuality, age does no favors.

No one wants to imagine their grandpa naked, and a bunch of bare-chested 50-year-olds, no matter how buff, doesn't exactly conjure images of romantic evenings by the fireplace.

Gone are Roth's signature flowing blond locks, replaced by a stylish crew cut, while the rail-thin Eddie Van Halen looks in dire need of a Big Mac.

But if Van Halen has aged, so has their audience.

"Man, I'm getting old, too, right along with them," says Leigh Westee, 43, of Atlanta, who plays bass in She-Ruption. "So it doesn't affect me at all that they're 'aging.' "

A bigger deterrent for some Van Halen lifers might be the fact that the band is touring without Anthony, and his signature backing vocals, for the first time, having jettisoned the affable party animal for Eddie's 16-year-old son, Wolfgang.

"I must admit that my largest fear was not the age of these fine-tuned musicians, but the ability of the band to produce the 'in your face' live stage show minus Michael Anthony," says Van Halen follower J. Sadoc, 35, of Detroit, who saw the band in his hometown earlier in the year. "Wolfgang Van Halen showed up primed and polished. I was pleasantly surprised."

Besides, even if these dudes have grown old, their message hasn't -- drink, ogle, party, repeat ---- which means you might not need to clamp those eyes shut after all.

"Everybody gets old," Emmanuelli says. "Rock 'n' roll doesn't."

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0476.