Hook, Line and Sinker

Christine and I used to fish in my living room. She'd go first and cast into shallow waters. We'd watch fish swirl around her hook, tempted by metal tackle, staring at it until it would chomp-chomp its fat mouth down upon fate and misfortune, then get reeled in.

Christine was a better fisher than I on some nights. I walloped her on other evenings. Occasionally, we'd make strange but just-friends bets, which never amounted to more than bragging rights. She'd do a victory jig at 2 in the morning. Christine was an ex-raver, so these were jigs with serious moves.

That was "Sega Bass Fishing Duel," six years ago. In video game time, that's an eternity, because games have progressed vastly ever since. But it's also a long time in friendship years. Christine moved to San Francisco for softer days. (It's hard being a woman.) My hair's grayed some prematurely. (It's hard being a man.)

Meanwhile, the kind of fishing game that made us laugh and jump and brag has grown prettier and wiser with age. The new "Sega Bass Fishing" for the Wii is a sleeker sport than what Christine and I toyed with. Now there are grander-looking rain marshes, bridges, caves and parks.

You use the interactive Wii wand as the pole. Jerk the wand forward to cast. Tug it to the left to reel in bass from the left. It's simple.

To tell the truth, I'd rather arcade-fish than fish-fish. Virtual fishing goes faster. The camera angle dips underwater and follows fish faces chasing my hooks, lines and sinkers. You can see the whole process play out with omnipotent vision. You don't have to slap mosquitoes nipping your nape.

And in "Sega Bass Fishing," an offscreen narrator tells you when to "turn the rod left," to help you battle large fish that tug hard against your purpose.

Surprisingly, you don't catch and release, even when you nab a little one and the narrator exclaims, "It's a baby!" Aww, poor little baby fish. Yeah, it's dead now.

The point is simple. You pile up as many fish as you can in time trials. Fish either rush to your tackle or they hide in dark corners, depending on basic factors: the depth of the pond; the time of day or night; and sunshine-to-rainy outings.

It's always ponderous when they decide they're smarter than you. But this is pretty great, to see them play hard to get. I have found myself talking at these fake prey, since Christine's not around for me to share jokes with, at the expense of the fish's fragile egos.

"Why won't you take the bait?" I ask.

They do not answer. Haughty fish.

And so, alone, "Sega Bass Fishing" is a fine little excursion from reality, to be spent in bursts of time-killing, rather than as all-night affairs.

I'm sure there are bigger lessons to be learned in fishing, and philosophizing to be had. But really, I just want a fishing partner to point at me and laugh, "In your face!," while grooving a victory dance to music memories in her head from parties long relinquished.

("Sega Bass Fishing" retails for $30 for Wii -- Plays fun, if limited. Looks fine. Easy. Rated "E." Three stars out of four.)