Lights of Las Vegas

Last week, comedian Bill Engvall and his wife, Gail, were hanging with friends at home in Southern California, when they got into yet another argument about the "scruples" that separate men and women. "It got kind of weird," he says.

Engvall asked a question for the table: "Would you put a pet to sleep if it meant saving your marriage?"

Engvall's guy friend said, "Definitely." That guy's wife said, "I can't believe you would do that." The guy replied back, "You're telling me your life is not worth the life of a pet?"

Such is the mind of Engvall, the "Blue Collar" TV and tour comedian who performs here this weekend. He spends much of his stand-up talking about regular life and relationships. In his book, "Just a Guy: Notes from a Blue Collar Life," a major premise is that all guys are the same.

"I used to do a joke about it," he says. "To guys, there's sleeping, eating and sex.

"Rarely will you see a woman just staring into a campfire. And the reason a guy does is because he's trying to figure out where he's going to get his next meal, when's he gonna sleep, and when's he gonna get laid again," he says. "Men think about sex 70 percent of the day."

Women are more complex.

"Oy. And they have a whole different language," he says. "My wife -- she likes to go for walks. ... A woman looks at a walk as a chance to talk and visit. And guys just don't think that deep. It's like, 'Why are we walking? We can talk in the car.' "

Before you start to think he and his wife are at odds, you should know they've been together for more than 25 years. She's been on his side all the while, he says.

The first time Engvall performed at Bally's, he and his wife "must have taken 30 pictures" of Engvall's marquee out front, he says.

It's oddly refreshing to talk with a tour performer who speaks so enthusiastically about Las Vegas, without sounding like he's simply pandering.

"Some people may think it sounds sappy, but I think it is cooler than you-know-what, that (my) name is on a big hotel in the middle of the Strip," Engvall says. "I remember having less billing than 99-cent cocktails at the Riv."

Onstage, though, Engvall has devoted more Nevada joke time to a part of our area that gets ignored in pop culture -- Nellis Air Force Base. It was there that fliers took him on a wild Thunderbird ride, challenging him not to puke. That marquee routine of his is "99 percent" true, he says.

"I would love to do it again -- just where I wouldn't worry about, 'Don't throw up, don't pass out.' What I'd love to do is just go fly with them. Just say, 'We don't have to do all the turns and G-force and all that.' "

He claims he left out of his routine one of his favorite parts, "when we were cruising in and out of those little canyons there in Death Valley, because that was more like 'Iron Eagle.'

"And of course, the whole time, the plane (auto voice) is going, 'Pull up, pull up.' And I'm like, 'Maybe we should listen to this voice.' "

Engvall was supremely impressed by the pilots he met. But he jokes that military recruitment at large is a little misleading.

"When I (perform at) fairs across the country, they'll do this Army recruiting thing," he says. "They've got this Hummer with an Xbox ... and all that. And then all of a sudden, (new recruits) get over in the middle of Afghanistan and go, 'Where's the Xbox?' "

Doug Elfman's column appears on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 702-383-0391 or e-mail him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He also blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.