Sitcom spoof proves guilty pleasure

It certainly isn't the script that makes "The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode" above average.

The widely traveled production -- currently visiting the Onyx -- is an extended drag sketch poking loving fun at the enormously popular (and often belittled) sitcom. The jokes are what you'd expect about our wholesome young heroines sharing an upstate New York school boarding house. And of course, here, they're not so wholesome. Blair (Gavyn Michaels, in a double-cast role) is the school slut; Jo (Joey Pate) is a confused, hard-edged soul who has a thing for Blair; Natalie (Brooks Braselman) is the chubby, chirpy adolescent who thinks of life in terms of food -- well, if you know the original series, and chances are you do, you get the idea.

Jamie Morris' script feels as if he went on a manhunt to collect all of the world's worst jokes. (Sample: "She's got a bad case of TB." "TB?" "Tremendous behind.") I guess there's no such thing anymore as bad punch lines. We're supposed to enjoy their staleness, or we're just not hip.

The second act dissolves into a labored spoof of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" when the girls become prostitutes to save their financially strapped home.

But wait, there's good news. What may sound hopeless often is turned magical by the sheer force and pacing of Christopher Kenney's professional-level direction, and the superbly trained performers. I hated what everyone was saying, but loved watching how they said it.

As the seemingly proper housemother Mrs. Garrett, author Morris demonstrates great comic instincts. It's amazing how he can wring the most out of a nonsense bit with small, disciplined movements. The enormously versatile Braselman not only brings a hefty sense of humor to Natalie, but also keeps popping up in minor roles that have major impact. (Yes, he even gets to play Geri, the character with cerebral palsy who was played on TV by an actress with cerebral palsy. It's a hilariously distasteful moment.) And Pate's transformation from the naive, searching Jo to a successful hooker who's proud of her talents is a drama unto itself.

As a bonus, the actors physically resemble their prototypes, with, naturally, a grain or two of exaggeration.

It's a shame to see all this talent at the disposal of such a disposable venture. But I found it impossible not to enjoy myself.

Anthony Del Valle can be reached at DelValle@aol.com. You can write him c/o Las Vegas Review-Journal, P.O. Box 70, Las Vegas, NV 89125.